16 July 2006

Indulgence Day

I've got to keep my fingers out of Bitch | Lab's blogroll. Not only does she have to have the best links to the most fascinating articles in her posts, (see Sometimes, a blowjob is just a blowjob for evidence), she's got a blogroll-to-die-for! Really. I get lost in there...and down the labyrinth of twisted paths that spiral out from it in octopusine fashion. It's a black hole for me.

I spent the whole day indulging myself. I've been pretty down in the dumps recently...job stress, figuring out my life and what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up as well as how-do-I-talk-to-my-mother shit. Since I made my decision Thursday that I'll be looking for a new job, hopefully at the place to which I can walk for work, I've been in this sort of healing zone. Okay, the decision is made. Time to begin licking the wounds I've allowed to be inflicted in that passive-aggressive den of snakes I've called my place of employment for the last three years.

I've slept when I wanted (up until 4 or 5 AM each morning, naps in the afternoon), I successfully ignored my bills and other, icky matters of day-to-day life for the weekend. I've eaten what I wanted. Tonight's "dinner" consisted of leftover sauteed asparagus, some Colby-jack cheese and crackers and a yogurt. I've holed up in the God-damned air conditioning all day protecting myself and my pooch from the God-damned sweltering Philly summer. It's 84-fucking-degrees here at midnight!

I've toodled around my site meter quite a bit...not only did my Bitch | Lab mention bring in a lot of visitors, I somehow wound up on a list about women in comics from a site called When Fangirls Attack. Have you got any idea how many people out there who are interested in women in comics (and, naturally, have the most powerful computers and the skills to use them) will flock to a link entitled "Girl Fuck 2005?" Lemme tell you, it's a lot.

As the capper, today I spent the entire day reading other people's blogs! Heaven! I apologize for forgetting exactly who led me where but feel sure most of what follows sprung from Bitch | Lab, as it often does.

I made it over to Ariel Levy's site and determined I have to get and read Female Chauvinist Pig, as it's what I fear I'm becoming. What else could one call a middle-aged lesbian grandma who objectifies young men and cares naught for them outside of their sexual function?

Ms. Levy led me to New York magazine for an interview with Maureen Dowd, long a personal favorite. While there, I noticed a story about an accomplished, young woman from Brooklyn who was murdered in her home. The story of Tiesha Sargeant is one of the saddest I've read in a long time. It's got me thinking a whole lot right now about class in America. I don't know exactly what I'm thinking yet but it's there, somewhere. It was made all the more poignant by my recent first experience with the West Indies and its people. The woman who cleaned the villa I stayed in, though I didn't need her during my stay, was Guyanan...a smart, insightful, decent, God-fearing, hard-working, ambitious married woman with two children. She will make a wonderful nurse someday, when her children are old enough for her to return to school. Go, Bonita!

Again, via Bitch | Lab, I made my way to a NYT article, The Taming of the Slur, about the recent rise (or would that be fall?) of the status of "slut." Here's an interesting excerpt:

When I think of the word slut, wrote Don Reisinger, a student doing accounting and law work in Albany, in an e-mail message, “I think of a woman who has been around the block more times than my dad's Chevy. I might date a slut, but I certainly wouldn't marry one.

For that reason, perhaps, women sometimes feel pressured to downplay their sexual experience. Women still have a script for their future that involves marriage, that involves children, said Dr. Susan Freeman, an assistant professor of women'’s studies at Minnesota State University, Mankato. It governs a lot of choices they make, how sexually active they can be, what risks they are willing to take in terms of alienating a possible marriage partner.

The response of the young, male college student doesn't surprise me a whit. You don't have to tell me that men's attitudes about women who sleep around haven't changed in 5 decades. I know that instinctively. But what if a woman does not envision a future that involves marriage? What if one desires a future with a lesser or different commitment, or no commitment at all?

Does that give those women free rein to fulfill their sexual desires, whether they prescribe to the norm or acceptable or not? Is it a license to seek out all the men she chooses for the sole purpose of engaging in mutually enjoyable sexual experiences? If so, maybe I should book my next trip for the Greek Isles. I've heard firsthand stories about those young, strapping, muscled fishermen types, the tour guides who sail your boat around the islands and are all too willing to guide you in other ways. So, their English might not be the best and my Greek is non-existent beyond 'ouzo' but, what the hell. Who needs spoken language? A sailboat head might not be quite the same as an airplane lav at 37,000 feet but... ::sigh::

Somehow I don't remember...hey, I am peri-menopausal...I found my way to Gawker and to the Gawker Artists. The photography is breathtakingly beautiful and I only took a moment to scratch the surface. I recommend a looksee. And the site is chockfull of juicy tidbits and fabulous flames of Manhattanites.

Incidentally, along the way tonight I added Fleshbot to my sidebar, all flesh, all the time. They could have a wider lesbian offering but then, "lesbian" porn on the web is so patriarchal. It's really hard to find good women-centered lesbian material out there among all the man-produced trash. I'm open for suggestions on that.

Loved the article on Fucking and Feminism by Rachel Kramer Bussel in the Village Voice. All three links are worth a gander but Rachel's opening line in Fucking and Feminism is:

Ladies, be warned: Your pussies are causing the downfall of society.
If anything is going to be the downfall of society as we know it, I'd prefer it be our pussies than thermonuclear weapons. As a matter of fact, I can think of no more pleasant way to come to my end than in the process of spoiling society by way of my twat. Does that make me, after all, a slut? : )

Technorati tags: bitchy / cunt-positive / men / sex / sexuality / sexual orientation / sex-positive / women


At July 17, 2006 10:01 PM, Blogger Hedonistic Pleasure Seeker said...

I actually link to lesbian porn in an earlier post of mine, wish I could remember the title. Wait. "Awkward Porn: It's Good to be #1 at Something." It showcased porn parodies, but I did link to at least one site that had the real deal. I think.

I was amused that Maureen Dowd and I were writing about BUtterfield 8 at about the same time. Does this make us soul sisters? We both have red hair. HMMMMMMM.

At July 17, 2006 10:15 PM, Blogger Cheryl said...

Oh, a redhead! Don't tease the lesbian!

At July 17, 2006 10:25 PM, Blogger Cheryl said...

OMG...I just Googled and found that, HPS. That was so fucking funny!


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