21 April 2007

I Guess It's Time

Well, as much as I wanted to get things cleaned up a little better, I'm not doing enough blogging lately to warrant keeping any stragglers who might read this blog coming back here. I transferred all my blog posts from Claiming my Inner Bitch on Blogger to a Wordpress blog of the same name some time ago. The two don't exactly support each other, though, so there are posts on the new Claiming my Inner Bitch which are jumbled up due to text boxes or other issues which don't quite compute from one program to the other. I do like Wordpress, though and, when I do write the rare random post, I write it there.

I'll leave this parked here for handy reference but if you want the least inkling of what the Inner Bitch is doing nowadays, you've got to head on off over there...

Change your blogrolls and feeds Yvonne and Penny! Mwahhh!

14 March 2007

Memory of Winter

I live on the bank of a creek.

During the month of February, the northeast of the United States was hit with a period of particularly frigid weather. As I walked outside at night, especially in the cold, wee hours, I bore witness to a strange phenomenon, one I’d never encountered in a lifetime growing up and living in the woods. I heard cracks and pops in the treetops, sometimes followed by the unmistakable sound of a twig or small branch falling to the ground.

On the coldest nights, the sound was almost like corn popping.

The most sound explanation I can come up with is living on the creek, something I’d never done before.

The far bank is much more shallow and sloping than mine. During heavy rains, I’ve seen the water rise as far as 25 or 30 yards onto that bank. (Thank God my bank is so much higher!)

My guess is that these are trees accustomed to having very “wet feet.” As a consequence of having their feet close to or below the water level, they tend to store a lot of water.

When the temperature drops from above freezing to 15 F in a matter of hours, the water in those smallest limbs is sure to freeze. The expansion of the liquid during freezing causes the limb or twig to burst open. Sometimes the eruption causes such damage that the twig fractures and falls noisily to earth.

Pretty cool, huh?

The temperature reached a high of 65 here in my little corner of the Philly ‘burbs today. I raked a bit, cleaned out birdhouses, relocated a few things in the garden, finally emptied my containers from last season (I know, I know…bad gardener!). I surveyed the damage done to my muscari bulbs by the January thaw. They’re up, a little ragged and brown around the edges. Hopefully, the blooms will not be negatively affected. Only time will tell.

It felt good to have my hands in the soil and to feel the sweat squeezing its way through my pores.

For some reason, I decided Sadie must be bathed. For as much as she hates to be bathed, she is the most wonderful dog to bathe I’ve ever had! She’ll get in, albeit reluctantly, without my having to lift her in. She stands stock still for the whole process and waits until I get the towel up before she shakes off when we’re done.

So, the garden shows signs of life, the dog is clean, the bathroom is clean, I found my tanzanite ring while cleaning the bathroom (the last memory I had of it was last week while packing…”My, that’s a strange place for me to have put my ring.” Followed by, “I’ll run into it again while packing.” Location, the shelf of the over-hopper cabinet, where the hand cream is.) I’ve run a bath (Avon’s Tranquil Moments bubbles) and have yummy soaps, shampoos, scrubbies and creams all waiting for me.

So what am I doing wasting time here?

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01 March 2007

Too Good to Pass By

Well, obviously I’ve fallen into some sort of hibernation period. Sorry about the hasty drop, folks. Neurological disorders are unpredictable.

I happened to find this gem through, believe it or not, AOL’s entertainment news. Yes, I’m a slut. Anyway, I happened to find this beauty too irresistible not to stash here for future reference.

Video: Our Swayze Reception.

Here is the YouTube video for your pleasure. By the way, if anyone can tell me how to download the actual file of this video (if that’s possible) please let me know?

Here are James and Julia on BBC Breakfast News following the smashing success of their YouTube memento.

And here they are on the obviously much more hip Richard and Judy. How come the guy gets top billing, anyway.

Finally, here is the website for the movie James manages to plug in both clips: AllBarLove.com.

The trailer, for your viewing pleasure:

All I have to say is I hope it makes it to the Ritz. I can only make out the damned dialogue of those Brit flicks on the big screen.

For another great Brit flick, check out Sliding Doors, with the oh-so-luscious Gwyneth Paltrow. She has the most delicious hair for half the film. Yes, despite her appalling taste in attire for award ceremonies. The icing on this cake is the always adorable John Hannah.

But then that gets me thinking about Four Weddings and a Funeral and Possession (Aaron Eckhart, yummy! Blech! Gwyneth, most fetching!) and Sense and Sensibility. Scrumptious.

Final tidbit…here is James and Julia’s “home.” That video sounds like a shrewd move now, doesn’t it? Who needs advertising when you can dirty dance?

Oh, pay no attention to this. I’m just setting it here so I won’t forget it.

As for me, I walked Sadie, my “canine companion”, in the drizzle this evening with my umbrella swinging from its leather strap by my side. The bathroom is presently warming and my pyjamas are toasting on the towel bar. I intend to get very warm and very snuggly very soon. Tonight, the wind will howl and the rain pelt and I will sleep, safe and serenely undisturbed.

I can’t say when I’ll be back next. Know that I’m doing alright. I’m back in therapy after a five-month break. Back on twelve-hour shifts, too, and feeling like a newborn. Sometimes I’m almost giddy on the job! In my present, semi-dormant state, I fear I may be getting a little Moley. I hope this doesn’t Drag-on too long.

I turn fifty next week. Did I mention that? Feel free to send greetings. (::wonders how to get a PayPal button::) I’ll be in NYC, secure in the anonymity of the eight million or so. I wouldn’t be the least surprised if I happened to post some more, providing I get my laptop’s wireless adapter up and running again.

Wish me luck.

Off to the showers, which sounds a little kinky…

16 January 2007

Philly Fog | Indilgences

There's fog in the city of brotherly love and its immediate environs tonight. I walked outside with Sadie on leash into a soup of near-London proportions. Okay, maybe not London but I certainly thought, "This is what New Orleans must be like in 'winter.' " Funny, but when I was down there in November one year I liked to have froze my bloody arse off, but that's another story.

So, the fog here might be a mere consomme compared to Europe, but it's powerful just the same. This is a fog which captures the sound, muffles and alters it slightly, and holds it down near the earth's ear. You can hear it all...a dog bark from the other side of town, the planes taking off from the airport. The drip, drip, drip of the water that should be running down the downspout had it not released its grip on its moorings last week. The sound of a horn from the river or the Boeing plant. The far-off wail of a fire siren

Our steps were squishy and loud in the night, Sadie's and mine.

A couple arguing in the parking lot.

One couldn't help but strain the ears to catch the frequent "fuck"s from the young man and talk about "her" from the young woman. I took it to be a third party argument. At first I wanted the issue to be resolved but I reconsidered. I think I would prefer that the girl arguing with the man in the fog, who was possibly terribly in love with him and decidedly more worthy than the woman in the discussion, have her wish granted. I desire the young man to realize the error of his ways and kiss the young woman deeply and passionately. I wished for them to ride off, clippety-clop, into the fog on a white steed (hers).

Instead, another couple had joined the discussion by the time Sadie and I had made our loop and I believe I heard the sound of laughter. I'd had visions of the young man driving hellishly through the lot and ending up on a trauma stretcher at my old place of employ. Well, not quite visions but a suggestion that that possibility lie down one of the possible trajectories from the event. But that's Einsteinian and also for another post.

I've spent the day; the winter thus far, really; hibernating. I've been taking a little journey inside myself and finding out all sorts of yummy stuff but that, too, is for another post. Today, Saturday that is, I slept until almost 2, had an Angus bacon cheddar burger for my meal, nodded off to some of my favorite sounds in the stereo and watched what may have been one of the greatest football games I've ever seen take place, live, in New Orleans, Louisiana...the NFC playoff game between my Philadelphia Eagles and the New Orleans Saints. I bet you this one winds up on some best playoff games ever dvd, but that's yet another post.

I've still got my (Charlie Brown) Christmas tree and lights up and am enjoying one more night of their sweet, warm glow. They'll have to come down tomorrow, shortly after whatever time I wake up. It's 4AM and I still haven't gotten in the tub...

I just now ate a very slightly stale white cream with chocolate icing doughnut washed down but ice cold milk in a frosted mug. I keep two mugs in the freezer, mostly for soda. Oh, and I also had the most delicious orgasm. Wow! It just doesn't get much better than this.

Now it's off to a candlelit bubble bath then off to bed in my silky cotton sheets. I've determined that what I want most right now for my body to be as soft and smooth from head to toe; nails filed, legs shaved, heels pumiced, hair slick; as possible. A variety of scents and lotions and textures then a blissful nights sleep.

Funny how sometimes you have to go into the fog to see clearly inside.

Yes, I've been holed up here, yes I've been cocooning, but isn't that what one has to do at certain stages of the game? Hell, I turn fifty in less than two months. If it was ever time for an epiphany...

So, I'm sorry I haven't been writing or even reading much. I'll be back around again in the near future, I believe. Hell, I've got at least three new post ideas in this one alone. If you know anything about me at all, you should have guessed that it's rather hard for me to shut up. I'm especially loud in the fog. I hope my grandboy is just like me!

I once said I'd like my grandson to tell me one day that I'm "cool," or whatever the corresponding terminology of the day is. I realized the other day is I want my grandson to say to me, "Grandma, you're not a grownup!"

I'll come back and fix the pictures and spell-check later. It's fucking four-thirty o'the clock and I needs me beauty sleep.

Until next time.

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15 January 2007

The BBC is reporting, courtesy of NPR in this here part of these United States, that the United States Embassy in Athens has been hit by a bomb.

It has been broadcast that the embassy was struck with a bomb from a rocket or grenade launcher. The apparent target was the emblem of the United States, our great eagle, on the building's facade. The errant projectile, however, entered the building through a closed window, landed and exploded in a toilet and, ultimately, started a small fire.

It is being called an "act of terrorism."

Do you suppose the "terrorists" got a "whiff" of the true "seat of power" in the current administration?

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

(Originally posted on CmIB on WordPress on Friday, January 12th. Sorry, I'm a bit behind in moving things over here...)

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31 December 2006

Sorry I Missed Out

So sorry I had to miss out on National Drunk Blogging Day. I've been preoccupied ever since Global Orgasm Day.

Maybe next year...


Peace, Dude!

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17 December 2006

Friday Random Number Post / Better Late than Never (Today translates to, "Fuck you, it's the fricking holiday season!" (*Four*)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A day and a half late and a dollar short, that’s me. Actually, several dollars shorter than I was yesterday since I spent the day out Christmas shopping with my mother. (We actually didn’t do too bad, considering, but that’s another post, another blog, another day.)

Four Things I Bloody Well Hate About the Christmas Season

1) Rude Drivers: Why is it necessary to place your vehicle square in the middle of the intersection when the light is turning yellow? Will it really hurt so much to wait out one more traffic light sequence? Is that lost 90 seconds going to keep you from baking one more holiday cookie for the unfortunate family that lives down the street? Or is it going to keep you from putting yourself further in debt in an assinine attempt to impress the neighbors and the neighbor kids (see holiday decorations, below)?

C’mon…is the “Christ” now so far removed from “Christmas” that we can’t even display a little common courtesy? An iota? A smidgeon???

2) Commercialism and commercials: Fortunately, by listening to public radio most of the time and working until 11 PM, I’m not exposed to much commercial television. This was a great blessing during the recent congressional elections. It’s also a boon every Christmas holiday season.

3) Christmas Muzak: Don’t get me wrong, I like a little Nat King Cole, Bing Crosby or Peggy Lee…to a degree. But to hear them continually pumped from the day after Hallowe’en until Christmas is more than any sane human can tolerate. About the only thing worse are the champagne commercials between Christmas and the New Year. [See 2, above]

4) Holiday decorations: Even in my small apartment complex (maybe 60 or 70 units) there is this infernal competition! In the summer, it’s gardening. In the Christmas season, it’s decorations! There is a lawn to one apartment which I’m amazed hasn’t caught on fire due to the wiring.

Every year I’ve been here, it’s gotten worse. The McMansion communities have incubated their evil offspring and they've now infested my little community! Anybody have a recipe for a good, organic pest control agent?

I dunno. Maybe it’s just me, getting older. I just long for the “old days” which seemed like such simpler and happier times. Back when we cared less about impressing the neighbors and more about helping them, caring for each other. Do I really remember a time when things were better, when there was less tension and more peace or is it just a figment of my imagination or the yearning regrets of a woman who’s becoming more familiar and comfortable with the concept of her own demise?

While you’re out shopping for the holidays, consider doing an old broad a favor? Be kind to other people. Let someone out into traffic. Don’t rush to clog up the intersection. Choose not to flip off the idiot behind you who beeped. Go ahead…be that daring! It’s Christmas, for Christ’s sake!

You can flip him off again on January 2nd.

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Locations of visitors to this page

  • *CmIB = Claiming my Inner Bitch
  • *CmIB-E = Claiming my Inner Bitch Enterprises
  • *MBCP = May be considered patriarchetypical (c) 2006 CmIB-E
  • *NOP = No Ordinary Princess, my other blog
  • *THAC = The Hospital Around the Corner