Claiming my Inner Bitch

Hoping to Muster the Energy

I'm hoping to find the energy to brave the dreadful heat this evening and drive to the Jersey shore to get in one beach day tomorrow before an evil five-day stretch begins on Saturday. I don't know if it's the blast-furnace that is the Mid-Atlantic weather these past few days, general depression, some mild physical ailment or an icky combination of the above but I feel shitty. The AC has been running full-speed non-stop for the past few days. I manage to get out to the diner for a bite then feel as if all the motivation is sapped out of me by that simple action.

I screwed up with my interview on Tuesday. I had decided over the weekend that going back to night shift was simply not for me. I don't think it would be good for Sadie, either, to have her routine so fouly tampered with. I mistakenly believed I would be interviewing with both the ICU and the ED managers and did not call Tuesday morning to inform the nurse recruiter of my decision. So I showed up, drenched in sweat and not seeming to stop perspiring even in the air conditioned HR office, only to discover I would not be meeting the ED manager. A wasted trip on all counts.

Of course, I despaired that I had made a terribly shitty impression and would be viewed as a complete flake. However, I received a call from the ED manager yesterday afternoon. She sounds like a very positive and personable woman. I should hear from the ED Clinical Educator within the next couple of days to arrange an interview with her and two of the ED nurses sometime next week. I like the idea of peer interviews. I like what I hear so far. The only downside is the only full-time positions they have open right now are for 8-hour shifts. That means five days a week, which I haven't done in probably fifteen years. However, I would work no more than eight hours a day, which would be cake for me after years of working twelves.

I believe I can do it. The nurse manager understands I'm interested in moving into a 12-hour position at the earliest possible time. They are revamping their "Fast Track" area, very much in line with the work I've done at my present hospital over the past year, so I think I could be of great benefit to them as they transition. And, if their Fast Track goes over as the manager expects, it should lead to more nursing and ED physician openings at this facility and, hopefully, open the door for me to move into a 12-hour position within maybe 6 months. I believe I can do this.

It sucks to think of working a schedule I really don't care for (I'm applying for 3-11 PM, in line with what I'm working now and with no rotation...no getting up at 5 AM one week then 11 AM the next) but I need to lower the stress level in my job and this place sounds like it's the ticket to that.

I don't think I'll need luck in the interview process, now that I've made a fairly good impression on the manager via the phone yesterday and, I think, dispelled the fear that I am a total fruit cake. Wish me luck that dragging my old frame into a job five times a week rather than three and that giving up some major beach time is something I can do until a better position opens for me there.

Now, if I can only get rid of the low-grade headache, malaise, mild queasiness, etc that's probably all due to the abysmal heat and living in a second-story apartment and drag Sadie and myself down to the shore this evening, maybe I'll develop a better outlook on life in general.

Technorati tags: depression / life / nursing / work

posted by Cheryl @ 2:25 PM