Okay, I Am Defined/Chronology of the BJ Wars (aka The Hummer Wars)Thanks. Now I know. I don't have sex with men for money to feed my children or keep a roof over my head. I don't have sex with men because I love them or respect them or want to marry them. I like sex with men and have had sex with men primarily for my pleasure, making me a slut. I like sex with women, too...more than sex with men, actually. But women are a little more complicated for me. That's another post.
Phew! "Slut." Thank God that issue's settled. Next issue?
Seriously, there's been a lot of talk about this recently in the feminist world I've newly discovered online. Let's see if I can remember some of the things I've read about this over the past days and weeks... Was it really a month ago that Twisty Faster, the fabulous Spinster Aunt (a favorite euphemism, I might add) of I Blame the Patriarchy, posted about blowjobs on her blog? Seems like just yesterday. I couldn't remember the original post but was able to find it here, thanks to Jill at Feministe, along with the comments.
I feel so overwhelmed listening to these feminists (mostly women) discussing first, second and third wave feminists. "Andrea Dworkin" sounds vaguely familiar. Gloria Steinem is a name I know...and Betty Friedan. As I've said elsewhere, I had two helpings of mid-60's, pretty much skipped the 70's (and much of the feminist movement) and jumped right into 80's soccer motherhood. I took no Women's Studies classes in college. I haven't even read a really good book on feminism except The Women's History of the World, by Rosalind Miles.
Let's see who all got involved in the fray...
Amanda at Pandagon asked for opinions and got 'em.
It was opined on Fetch me my axe, and commented on liberally and with intelligence.
Next one I read (I think) was Bitch | Lab's response to Jill's post at Feministe. This is when I started reading B | L with regularity although she uses big, feminist terms and names that scare me a bit. : )
BitchPhD got involved in it the following week. Hilarious! I hope the guys took her advice and didn't read further. There is a humongous comment thread, (Huge is good, right?) which I didn't read all the way through.
Then she allowed the guys a turn. Again, I spent a little time in comments but didn't even get through the entire 94. (The women had 214, but this is a blog largely about feminism and who's keeping score, anyway?)
Next up, the lesbians had their say. I'm going to bookmark that to read the whole comment thread. : ) (55 comments, not a bad showing for 10% of the female population but, then, it is a feminist woman's blog and, well, you know those crazy lesbians.)
Finally, the participants were invited to all come together and, boy, they sure seemed to. Have to bookmark that one, too, for the 239 comments and the link to Exhibitionism for the Shy. It's not easy being a rather shy woman with exhibitionist tendencies!
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to really have a look at Dr. Bitch.
It took the better part of the intervening month for the mainstream media to get involved, which they have. I got back on the treadmill over the weekend, having been brought to my attention again by Bitch | Lab. Seems many have opined on the BJ Wars...the NYT chimed in with the Taming of the Slur, the changing meaning of the word "slut." The fans were flamed by Rachel Kramer Bussel's column in the Village Voice on Fucking and Feminism. I loved it. Others didn't. Or perhaps they just misunderstood.
Amber's got something to say about it now as does Pinko Feminist Hellcat.
Is it always like this in the feminist blogosphere???
Damn shame of it is, I enjoy reading all these women (and a couple of men / men...unless "Bryan" is pronounced differently than I think it is) on feminist subjects. They all have something positive to say. I just wish it could be said without all the vitriol.
I guess I know where I stand in the feminist sex wars. I'm a Feminist Slut Extraordinaire, and damned proud of it. (I'm up to using fingers on both hands now in the numbers category so I know I'm a slut.) I still don't enjoy BJ's (sorry, guys) but I love cunnilingus! ; )
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