You Know it's Bad When I'm not Even Interested in Sex
Yep, this is a tough one, this slump.
I remember wondering, when I first started to sink into this black hole last winter, if it wasn't partly Seasonal Affective Disorder. I sure hope not because fall is here (historically, my favorite time of year though there's been no joy in the season for me so far) and I'm so low already I hate to think of how bad I'll feel when I'm sunlight deprived on top of it. I haven't even felt like sex for almost two weeks. Highly unusual for me.
Maybe this is something I might have to consider lifelong medication for. I hadn't wanted to think about that so far. For me, anti-depressants are something I'd always seen myself using for a finite period of time. I hadn't considered that I might need to stay on them for the long-term, like my Corgard. I'm starting to wonder, though, if I shouldn't have always been on meds and it's only the deeper inner appreciation and involvement that has brought a chemical problem to the surface, a problem that has always existed and might persist for my lifetime.
The weather matches my mood....very gloomy here in the Greater Philadalphia area this afternoon...showers off and on, possible thunderstorms or tornadoes this evening. Even my usual lighting doesn't seem to lift the veil. The living room seems so dark.
I blew off going to Jersey to watch the Eagles game with my mom this afternoon. Not that an outing such as that would be so invigorating and stimulating but at least it would have been an outing. Instead, I've chosen to further depress my few readers here, listening to A Prairie Home Companion on NPR. I will watch the Eagles' game today, alone. No wings and beer...well, I almost always have beer here if I want it, I just don't often want it lately. This is all I feel I have the energy for today.
At least I've managed a few words here and have a couple of political things I might get around to saying at NOP. It's as productive as I'm capable of being right now.
Maybe the Eagles won't completely suck this weekend and I'll be in a little better frame of mind this evening...
(Cartoon courtesy of "Li'l Adult" by Greg Fiering...click on it to read it.)
tags: depression / football / life / life sucks but it beats the alternative